Pride month 2023, Use your words


 The right words.

Words are amazing thing aren’t they? You can make someone smile, laugh, and blush, but also words can have a negative effect. 

At school I still remember the saying “Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me” How wrong those words are, words are powerful. 

I often say to my children “Use your words” as it is the strongest thing you have.


love is love written on a hand for pride
I was invited to attend a Pride event recently and donate my time and skill doing the hair and makeup, to help others and bring their inner Pride out and doing what I love doing – helping others and bringing out the best version of themselves, that is after all what the Butterfly does it transforms and becomes just a more beautiful version of its former self. While attending the Pride event I realised that while I do consider myself to be an inclusive person, my website and some of my wording especially around weddings was not so inclusive, or not as inclusive as I would have liked. This for me was not acceptable, so I took to research and ask those who are more involved in the LGBTQ+ community.

Weddings aren’t a strictly gendered thing, but many of the words around weddings and marriage are very gendered. I hold my hands up and can only apologise for how short-sighted I was in using some of the wording I did.

So I’m not having a “wedding” that’s fine – Im happy to attend and work with you for all celebrations because it is not just weddings it could be a hand tying, or a commitment ceremony whatever you are celebrating if you need a hair and makeup artist and feel we are a good fit get in touch. My style of work as you will see from my images is working with you my client and bringing out the best naturally gorgeous you.

Even if you’re aiming for a gender-neutral wedding or celebration, it’s hard to talk about it without using gendered verbiage.
When you approach the wedding industry it really is overwhelming and with gendered terms (such as ‘bride’ and ‘groom’) its already putting out and projecting a narrow view of what a wedding should or shouldn’t look like and this also transfers onto who it does or doesn’t include.

But I’ve tried to find some ways around that or I will say I have tried and will continue to do so.

I want to make my business a safer, and inclusive, and more welcoming place for everyone which means no one is missing out including LGBTQ+ clients so I will be dropping gendered terms from my website, contract, and my booking forms, and yes even my social media.

I am by no means perfect so may make mistakes along the way if I do please drop me a message or email and say iv slipped up if you do feel iv made a mistake but go steady on the pitchforks I am learning and I am sure to have a few mistakes on my learning journey.

Communication, it can feel like such a trivial thing.
But these language alternatives CAN and DO make a huge impact on the LGBTQ+ wedding clients who maybe aren’t used to feeling included or represented.
I made a list below of some of the changes I have made within my wedding and celebrations section and maybe you too can swap out a few words if you want to help support others.

If you are still unsure of the new wedding terms iv added and how best to put into words what you want and who you want in your tribe or celebrations here are a few words iv swapped out and what they had been but if you really really are lost in my new words drop me an email and I’m happy to talk your plans.

For those of you who are curious, my pronouns are she/her but I do try and be relaxed if you aren’t so big on pronouns and what you would like to be called that is fine. I am just offering out my olive branch to a community that I would love to be able to support if and when they need it. 

Thank you for reading as always I hope this was helpful in some way to you. Danielle


GENDERED Bride Groom Bridal Bridal suite Bridal party Bridesmaids Groomsmen Maid/Matron of Honor Best Man Flower girl Ring bearer Fiancé/Fiancée Husband Wife Menswear

Marrier / shining star, or their name
Marrier / shining star or their name
Wedding suite
Wedding party, crew
Attendants / guests / crew / wedding party
Attendants / guests / crew / wedding party
Person of Honor, Attendant, Honor Attendant
Person of Honor, Attendant, Honor Attendant
Flower child
Junior attendant
Nearlywed, Intended, Spouse-to-be
Spouse / partner / star
Spouse / partner / star
Suit style, formalwear